Yes, I’m still alive…

It’s been four months since my previous entry. What happened? Well, I got a job working for the local rape crisis organization. Am happy to be working with people again, helping them make sense of their lives. It is also a difficult job, because we see a lot of the hard sides to life.

And, inspired by my husband’s enthusiasm, I began playing World of Warcraft (WoW). THAT is addictive! A friend suggested I do an entry about playing WOW (have never played computer games before, well not since “Zelda”), and I may do that eventually.

Meanwhile, yes, I am still alive. And yes, I still care.

Whole lotta knitting

This was the first Winter holiday season where I gave multiple knitted gifts.  Five people got felted bags; for the ladies, they were purses, and for the two guys they were just felted bags for holding small items.  You can see how to make them here at Crazy Aunt Purl’s blog.  I did the fuzzy yarn and bracelet version for the ladies; for the guys I made the tabs slightly wider, used cord to create the bag closure, and used a combination of two worsted yarns.  If you are looking for a knitted bag for your tarot cards, these also work great. 

I also knitted a couple simple hats for people — again, you can find the pattern at Crazy Aunt Purl’s blog, though I picked up items from a couple of her entries: Here and here .  I enjoy her patterns, because she assumes I am a beginner and explains thoroughly, and they just seem . . . friendly.    

My two bigger items were gifts for my husband.  He asked for a poncho to keep warm around the house, and had input as to the pattern and the yarn.  You can find the pattern here at Lion Brand Yarns (it is free, as are the ones at Crazy Aunt Purl’s blog).  He chose the Homespun yarn in Williamsburg, Montana Sky, and Black.  Although I’m not as fond of acrylic, this knitted up just fine, and was as easy as the pattern suggested.  I remembered to leave long enough tails at the beginning and end of my color changes, and then used them to whipstitch the two halves together.    I had trouble making the exact gauge the pattern called for – size 10 needles were too small, and size 11 made a 4-1/4″ square instead of 4″.  Since my husband is a large individual, I went with size 11 needles, but then I ran out of the last color at seven rows instead of 9 (as the pattern called for).  No problem; just something to be aware of.  He likes it, and I had fun knitting it.

The second gift was a scarf.  I finished the poncho a couple weeks before gift time, so when he casually mentioned he’d like to have a grey scarf, I thought, “No problem, plenty of time.”  I wanted to make it soft, and had in mind something that progressed through shades of grey, so I went to our local yarn store and perused their inventory.  It’s lovely going to a yarn shop, because everyone is used to people fondling the yarns and even smelling them.    I found this lovely Mainland yarn by Plymouth Earth (made in Peru) that is 80% baby alpaca and 20% silk.  It didn’t have the progression of shades I’d hoped for, but is soft and such a pleasure to work with.  The silk gives it a lovely sheen.  The paper wrapper on the yarn called for size 7 needles; in retrospect I could have used 8 (I tend to knit tight), but the size 7 needles made it tight enough to show off the pattern.  It is a simple pattern, again from Crazy Aunt Purl, but this time in her book, Drunk, Divorced, and Covered in Cat Hair (Laurie Perry).  It has a garter stitch edge and ends, and is alternating blocks of knit and purl.  I was hoping to keep this gift a surprise, so I could only knit when he wasn’t around or was sleeping.  On size 7 needles, six feet of scarf takes forever (or at least, it feels like forever).  I finally finished it on the 23rd, so had it done in time.  I wish I could have taken my time knitting it, because the yarn is such a pleasure to work with.

I received knitting goodies as well as gave them.     A friend sent me a knitted shopping bag (open weave) which I have already used.  She also sent the pattern (clever lady!) so I can make more for myself or others.  With the bag she included a knitting novel, so that will be fun.  My husband gave me that copy of Knitting for Good! that I mentioned here , so eventually I will review that.  But my favorite gift is a bag of yarn he bought for me at the local shop, with three skeins each of two colorways of Poems by Wisdom Yarns (made in Turkey).  This wool yarn is a bit stiffer than I would prefer with a scarf, but I love the colors and the way they are changing.  Am using the same pattern I did with my husband’s scarf (with size 9 needles), and enjoying the process.  (No need to hurry this time!) 

The weather here has been cold and rainy, so it has been pleasant to do all this knitting.  And to look forward to doing even more! 

A random act of kindness (and other stuff)

Being unemployed, I’ve cut way back on my visits to Starbucks.  But this afternoon I decided to treat myself (remembering to bring my own cup, so I got a discount).  I entered the drive-thru, placed my order, and waited patiently behind a Windstar with a left tail-light repaired with colored tape.  When I finally drove up to the window, the friendly barista told me my green iced tea was already paid for . . . by the person in the vehicle ahead of me!  The barista said the driver claimed not to know me, and I certainly didn’t recognize the vehicle.  Must admit, it put me in a kindly disposition for the rest of the day.  I thought about why the person might have done it, and the domino effect of a kind act.  How lovely!

Back when I had money, I subscribed to “Ode” magazine, which says it is for “intelligent optimists.”  I like that idea.    There have been good articles, and it is encouraging to learn of a variety of ways to help the planet and its inhabitants.  One of the back-of-the-issue articles in the November issue was about Betsy Greer, and her new book, Knitting for Good!: A Guide to Creating Personal, Social, and Political Change Stitch by Stitch.  Am hoping to get it for Solstice, so will write a review of it later (maybe).    Meanwhile, I’ve been reading her blog, art + craft = craftivism .  I always find it interesting to learn how people got where they are, so I started from her first blog entry and began reading forward.  She reminds me of the women in my women’s studies classes, who were so into zines and how everything is a political statement.  (Well, it can be!)  As I read her blog entries forward, I was disappointed by the two-year gap from May 2006 to May 2008, but figure that must have been when she was writing her book.  Anyway, if you are interested in how to combine your love of craft (whatever it may be) with making the world a better place, I encourage you to go visit her blog.  And maybe buy her book. 

And finally, we have been watching holiday movies since the weekend after Thanksgiving.  To qualify as a holiday movie, there must be a scene related to Winter Solstice/Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa etc., which makes for a wide range of movies.  Not only do you get “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “The Holiday,” but “Die Hard” and “Long Kiss Goodnight” also meet the criteria.    My husband recently bought us “The Muppet Christmas Carol,” so the other night we watched that.  Michael Caine plays Scrooge, Kermit plays Bob Cratchett, Gonzo plays Charles Dickens, and just about all the Muppets get in there somewhere.  There is the scene where the two gentlemen approach Scrooge about making a donation toward the poor and homeless, and he sends them away brusquely.  The two gentlemen are played by Professor Bunsen and his assistant, Beaker (one of my favorites).  As Scrooge is throwing them out of his office, my husband suddenly burst out in laughter!   What?!  So we replayed that bit, and there is Beaker, flipping off Scrooge!  I wonder how that got past the censors!    [To see one of my favorite Beaker videos (it's short), visit Ode to Joy .]

That meditative time of year

I’ve been out with a bad cold, so I’ve spent lots of time sitting around thinking (no energy to do much else).  One of my favorite things to do at this time of year is sit in our darkened living room with the holiday tree lights on.  I inherited some of my mom’s ornaments, so there are decorations on our tree older than I am.  It’s fun, because I can look at every item on the tree and remember the story behind it.  There’s the bear we bought in Berlin, the two ornaments made by my friend, Lisa, the tin star Mom and her first husband stole off someones tree at a party they went to before they got married . . . things like that.

My mom liked to sit in a darkened room and look at the tree lights, too.  I’d get up in the middle of the night and go to the kitchen for a glass of water, and there would be Mom, sitting on the couch smoking a cigarette and staring at the tree.  I stopped and sat with her a couple times, but she seemed to prefer being alone to think.  I think it was her example that has given me permission to do a lot of introspection at this time of year.  It’s almost as if it has created a safe “container” (to use psycho-speak) for me to consider memories and ideas that remain buried through much of the year. 

With various nature-based spiritualities, this is also considered a meditative time of year.  In the natural cycle of the Northern Hemisphere, much of nature is dying back, shutting down, conserving its strength.   There is the idea of the Goddess, pregnant with Sun/Son and about to give birth.  Gardners have put their yards and fields “to bed,” and are busy with seed catalogs and plans for activity in the Spring.  The nights are longer, and with the cold it is pleasant to sit near a fire (or a heater) and knit or read or watch a holiday movie.  In the dark there is more time to think, and to dream.  It is a time to go within . . .

Wishing each of you strength, and healing, and warmth.  

Black Friday, indeed

On Friday, 28 November a man died, the victim of greed and stupidity.

I am well aware people die every day because of greed and stupidity, in alarming numbers, and have been for thousands of years. 

This man died because someone wanted a 50″ plasma HDTV for $798, or a Bissel vacuum for $28, or a really good digital camera for $69.  Or maybe it was some newly-released DVDs for $9 each.  Or some other equally unnecessary stuff.

This man’s name was Jdimytai Damour, 34 years old, and he was a temporary worker at a WalMart on Long Island, New York.  When he helped open the doors at WalMart at 5 a.m. that day, he was trampled to death by shoppers.  It was probably an accident . . . . maybe the people who knocked him down didn’t even realize they did it — they were too intent on getting in to those “bargains” before someone else beat them to it.  Maybe the people who trampled on him as they rushed into the store were not even aware there was a person beneath their feet.  Four other people were knocked down and injured that morning, and had to be taken to the hospital for treatment.  Perhaps the people who killed Damour were simply trying to keep their footing as the people behind them pushed into the store to buy “The Incredible Hulk” before all the store’s copies were gone.

Police are looking at surveillance tapes to try to determine what happened, to see if someone should be charged for manslaughter.  It would be a difficult case to prove.   I am sincerely hoping someone sues WalMart.  The store’s management says they hired security, but obviously it was not enough.  WalMart is very good at fanning the American public’s greed, and when they purposely have only a few of the incredibly low-priced items on sale they create a frenzy on the part of shoppers who have been hard hit by the current economy.  Personally, I refuse to go into a WalMart ever again; but then, I haven’t been in one for years for other economic, social, and political reasons.

This is one of those tragedies that may never be shown to have “a” culprit.  And since the blame will be defused, perhaps no one will be punished.  Do we blame the advertising industry, servant of Big Business since the 1950s, whipping up American desires to consume more?  Do we blame Big Business?  Do we blame the tendency of the Republican Party to cater to Big Business?  Do we blame the individual greed of citizens of the U.S., who consume far more of the Earth’s resources per capita than any other nation? 

Meanwhile, I am appalled there has been so little discussion of this senseless death.  Perhaps we have become inured, since senseless death occurs by the minute, all around the world.  But I see Damour’s death as an indictment of Big Business in the U.S., and the advertising industry, and the rampant greed of so many U.S. citizens. 

I mourn Jdimytai Damour.

Long term, labor intensive investments

I have some very creative friends.  Recently one suggested we do creative expressions inspired by the dealing of a tarot card — responding with a story, poem, painting, clay work, collage, whatever.   She posted this Seven of Discs, which I believe is from the Via Tarot.  There were some wonderful responses — a poem about the goddess dreaming the world, some prose about long-term projects, a collage, a photo, and other wonderful expressions.  They were the sort of things that brought tears to my eyes, because there is so much creativity in this world.  (And frankly, because I wish I were more creative, like some of my friends.) 

 

While I was going to university, I got the Seven of Pentacles a LOT in my personal tarot readings.  When I see this card in a reading, most often I talk about putting long-term effort into a project, the sort of thing that can take years.  On the Hanson-Roberts deck it shows a man in his late 20s/early 30s, leaning on a gardening tool, looking at the seven pentacles on a bush, like produce in a garden.  He looks tired, as if he is wondering when the work will be done.  At least with a garden you usually have the results by Summer or Autumn, though with artichokes and fruit trees it may take a year or more.  Sometimes the Seven of Pentacles comes up because people are discouraged by all the work, maybe even wondering if it is worth it all. 

Thanks to Samhain and Thanksgiving, I’ve also been thinking about various ancestors.  My mother and maternal grandmother were hard-working people, the sort who got up early in the morning and did things because they needed to be done.  They were both gardeners, and had yards that were the envy of neighbors.  They understood the value of hard work that didn’t have immediate rewards.  And I know they didn’t get the recognition and honor they deserved in their life times for all their efforts.  I am who I am partly because of those efforts.  Probably a child is the most long-term, labor intensive investment most of us will ever make.  I wonder if some parents realize that.  Because it doesn’t just affect that child . . . it affects everyone that child interacts with, and their children, and their children’s children, and beyond. 

So I created this photo as my response to the Seven of Discs.  There is the afghan behind it, which I suppose is a relatively rapid project, because it only took months.  The diploma took years to achieve, and reflects the effort of me, my husband, and my mom (because she gave me the money that made part of it possible).  It also honors my grandmother, because a century ago she went to college and had to drop out after three years (before graduating) because of her health.  The photos of my mom and that grandmother (whom I never actually met) honor these strong women.  They helped me become who I am (though I’m still a work in progress). 

This is a Thanksgiving thank you — to them, to family, to friends, to creators, to warriors, to workers, to dreamers, to all the people who put their efforts into long-term, labor intensive projects that have made this world a better place.   Thank you!

“Nearest Book Thing”

Nearest Book Thing Rules:
* Grab the book nearest you. Right now.
* Don’t dig for your favorite book, the coolest, the most intellectual. Use the CLOSEST.
* Turn to page 56.
* Find the fifth sentence.
* Post that sentence here, and along with these instructions, on your blog.

From The Needlework Book, by Wanda Passadore (1969, Simon and Schuster): “The truly Chinese versions are very colorful; however, our taste gives preference to the light shades that repeat those of the classic filling stitch in a different effect.”

This exercise isn’t quite as telling for me as it might be for others (such as Shadow Me Teresa where I got it from).  Our household has a communal computer linked to the Internet, and it lives out in the living room.  So the nearest book happened to be in a small bookcase that houses our “overflow” large-size books.  The Needlework Book was given to me by my mom back when I was learning how to do a bit of fancy needlework (mostly embroidery).  It’s a bit skimpy on the how-to, but has lovely illustrations that are more for inspiration.  The sentence above was from a section on the Chinese filling stitch.  I actually remember using that stitch on a cloth purse a very long time ago. 

So, what book is closest to you right now, and what does it say on the fifth sentence of page 56?    Please post it in the comments.

Choosing life: “Elizabethtown”

 This is part movie review and part random thoughts generated by watching the movie.  “Elizabethtown” (2005) stars Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst, with wonderful supporting roles played by Susan Sarandon, Alec Baldwin, Paul Schneider, and a host of others.  It was written and directed by Cameron Crowe.  Yes, it is a romantic comedy.  No, it generally did not get good reviews from official reviewers.  According to Yahoo Movies the critics gave it a “C.”  But sometimes a movie has meaning the average person can’t see.  Sometimes a movie speaks to the soul.

Drew Baylor (Bloom) is the creative genius behind a revolutionary new shoe.  Unfortunately the world is not ready for this shoe, and it loses his company $972,000,000.  As his boss, Phil (Baldwin) points out, you could round that off to a billion dollars.  In fact, after telling Drew “it’s only money,” Phil goes into great detail letting Drew know what that means for the company, and people attached to the company.  The kicker is when he talks about how they will have to get rid of their environmental watchdog program; “We could have saved the planet, but . . . “  So now the planet will go down the tubes because of Drew?  AARGH!  It’s really easy to dislike Phil.  And of course, Phil puts the blame on Drew.  What, the president of a major company and all its marketing division didn’t see this coming?

Drew goes home and comes up with a very creative way to commit suicide.  (Did I mention his superficial girlfriend broke up with him because of this shoe fiasco?)  Just as Drew is about to do the deed, he gets a phone call from his sister — his father has just died of a heart attack while back in Kentucky, visiting relatives.  His family drafts him to fly from Oregon to Kentucky to deal with the extended family and all the arrangements. 

Of course, he meets a woman.  (This IS a romantic comedy.)  Claire (Dunst) is an airline attendant who gives him directions to Elizabethtown, advice about people, and advice about how to pronounce “Louisville.”  [Now if I ever visit there, at least I won't pronounce it like I'm from California.]  She is a student of people (and names), and is the most positive thing that has happened to Drew since this fiasco began.  Of course, she has a boyfriend, and Drew is still determined to go home and commit suicide (though he doesn’t tell her that’s why he holds back), so this relationship can’t work.  There has to be something in the way to build tension, doesn’t there? 

Kentucky is a whole other world for Drew, full of people who know many things about him and whom he doesn’t know at all.  They insist on saying he is from California, though he’s lived in Oregon for 27 years.  [What makes this particularly interesting is that for many years people from Oregon tended to dislike people from California, because they were always moving up and trying to tell the old-timers what to do.]  And when Drew mentions cremation, they are aghast.  While they all rally around him, the only relative who seems to understand some of what Drew is going through is his cousin, Jessie (Schneider).  And then there is Claire.

I don’t want to give too much of the movie away, so let’s just say this is about a journey, both metaphorical and literal.  It is about grieving, and family, and how death gives birth to life. 

Now, why have I watched this movie dozens of times?   We bought the DVD as soon as it came out, because the movie came and went in our “action-adventure” oriented community before we could see it at the theatre.  And we enjoyed watching it.  Then I got laid off, from a job I’ve been training for for eight years.  By people who knew the money wasn’t there when they hired me, and who made it clear that because I was doing my job properly or as trained, the money was no longer there to pay employees.  People who clearly do not want to be identified as being associated with a fiasco.  Like Drew, I was depressed.  Unlike Drew, I lack an extended family, or the need to make a literal journey.  But I have friends.  And I had this movie, to watch over and over and over . . .                  

As I wrote at the beginning, sometimes a movie speaks to the soul.  ”Elizabethtown” spoke to mine, and I suspect it speaks to others.  It runs 123 minutes, and is rated PG-13 (for language and some sexual references).  On a scale from 1 to 5, I give it a 4.7.  But that’s just me — I’m a Judith. 

Thank you, Veterans!

I have a close relative currently serving in the military.  I don’t write about him in specifics, because I respect his privacy.  I am so proud of him.  He serves in a time of war, he puts his all into his job, he watches out for the people around him, he does very difficult things, and he is a good man.  Thank you for being who you are and doing what you do!

I am also proud of his father, who was in the military back when a lot of change was going on.  The attitudes toward war and the military were changing, and the military itself was changing.  During change, it’s hard to know where to stand and who has your back.  His father went through some rough times, and is still dealing with some of that.  But he also is a very good man.

Thank you to all our Veterans!

This afghan is for me!

My first afghan was for my husband, and because I was still a very new knitter, it had lots of mistakes.  And all the while I knitted it, I thought about the afghan I would eventually knit for myself.  It would be in shades of blue, green, and purple/lavender, and it would be in wool. 

Eventually I had the money (back when I had a job), so I visited my local yarn shop.  Reality hit imagination when I realized they didn’t carry quite the shades I had been imagining.  But they came close, and I was willing to go with what they had.

So here it is!  The photo shows the side flipped over to show the back.  The pattern is “Rolling Ripple” (minus the fringe), and comes from Knit Afghans of Many Colors (American School of Needlework, #1347).  The main color is Cascade Yarns Ecological Wool (unbleached).  The alternating colors are all Nature Spun 100% wool: Enchanted Forest, Blue Boy, Boysenberry, Nordic Blue, Arctic Moss, and Royal Purple.  I altered the pattern to make a plain 10 stitch/10 row border at the sides and ends.  All you do is knit, and every fourth row you “*(k2 tog tbl) twice; (YO, K1) 4 times; (K2 tog tbl) twice; rep from * across.”    It’s so simple, it would probably drive a more advanced knitter to tears.  But for me it was very soothing.  And the wool felt so good to work with.

One of the things I really enjoy about this wool afghan is the way it smells.  It reminds me of the wool blankets my mom had on her bed when I was a kid.  Halfway through the knitting I took in my second skein of the unbleached wool and one of the owners of our local yarn shop volunteered to take it home and wind it on her motorized winder — Great!  Imagine my dismay when I got it back the next day, put it to my nose as I walked to the car, and smelled cigarette smoke!  AARGH!  Fortunately we had several days of sunny weather, so I put it out in the sun, hoping to dissipate the smell.  I also added a few drops of pure lavender essential oil to it.  Eventually the smell faded away, but you can bet I won’t ask her to wind any more skeins for me.  [Will mention it to her the next time I'm in the shop, so it doesn't happen to another customer.]

Am already planning my next afghans, this time for our grandchildren.  However, I’ll probably do them in acrylic, so they will be easier to wash.  Let’s see . . . black, pink, and red for the girl, and . . .