Archive for November, 2007

The socio-economics of where you buy groceries

November 29, 2007

No, I’m not writing about organic, fair trade, or locally produced foods.  (Although the better selection of organic foods at my favorite grocery store IS part of the reason I shop there.)  I’m writing about the three criteria by which most people choose where they buy groceries: price, location, and personal comfort.

I live in a small town, and we have four large grocery stores: Grocery Outlet, Shop Smart, Ray’s Food Place, and Safeway.   Their prices vary from very inexpensive to expensive.  Their locations vary (though Ray’s and Safeway are almost next door to each other), so their convenience is based on how close they are to where a person lives (and whether that person is on foot, a bicycle, uses public transportation, or has their own vehicle). 

Though location can mean a lot, I suspect people chose where to shop based on price and personal comfort.  When you are broke, price is all important, and much can be tolerated for the sake of the budget.  Been there, done that.  But personal comfort often comes from the surroundings (clean, wide aisles, well-lighted), from the attitude of employees, AND from how much the other shoppers are like you.  This last item is more important than you may realize.  I occasionally shop at a CoOp in a larger town, and it took me almost a year to feel comfortable there, because it seemed so many of the shoppers gave off a “holier than thou” attitude.  In our little community, I finally switched stores (and paid slightly more) because I was tired of listening to mothers yelling at (and sometimes slapping) their children in public.  The deciding event was listening to a man and woman argue over whose turn it was to buy the beer.  The psychosocial cost was greater than the few dollars I saved. 

This is on my mind because of a small thing that happened a couple evenings ago.  My husband has been in law enforcement in this area for about 29 years, so he knows a lot of people, some of whom are former “clients.”  He generally gets along even with them, but it always makes it interesting when we shop together.  Three former clients were in line behind us the last time we bought groceries, and we had some light conversation with them.  But when I got home and unpacked the groceries, there was fresh gum stuck to two of the packages.  A minor thing, but disconcerting.  My personal comfort was challenged.  I LIKE shopping at this store — the prices are okay, and their selection of organic items is good (the organic produce is better than at the more expensive store).  But . . .

So, give some thought to where YOU shop.  Why do you shop there?  What do you look for in a grocery store?  And how big is personal comfort in your decision?

Balancing act

November 25, 2007

Back on 16th November the comic strip “Cathy,”written by Cathy Guisewite, was dealing with Cathy’s mother coming to help fix Thanksgiving dinner at Cathy and Irving’s house.  Cathy immediately goes into a frenzy of kitchen cleaning.  Irving chides her, and suggests she just tell her mother, “This is how I live!”  pentacles-2.jpg

Cathy answers, “This isn’t how I live.”

Irving: “Honey, our kitchen always looks like this!  It’s how you live!”

And Cathy answers with the line that most people can identify with: “It’s only how I’m living until I have time to live the way I actually live!”

(You can see the strip at http://news.yahoo.com/comics/cathy ; search on November 16.)

How many of us are living lives where we have to balance demands?  We go to school, or we work (maybe at more than one job), or we have sick relatives to care for, or we have children to raise, or . . . ?  So something gets left undone, or gets done only half as well as we’d like.  We are living this way only until we have the time to live the way we actually want to live. 

Other people can’t really tell us what is most important in our lives.  Oh, they will tell you what you should do, but when it comes right down to it, it is a personal choice.  Because if we live our lives trying to keep up with what everyone tells us (or with that parent tape playing in our heads), and it is not an agenda we agree with, at some point it will all fall apart.  Even though we truly do not mean to, we will sabotage what we are doing, and we will fail, and then we won’t have pleased anyone, least of all ourselves. 

If you find yourself in a balancing act, and it isn’t working, I suggest two things: 1) Make a list of what really is most important in your life, and rank it from most important to least.  Then, 2) consider what affect time will have on these items.  If you put something off for now, will it still be there for you to do later?  Some things (like a novel) can possibly wait — other things (like children) go through a LOT of change in a short amount of time.  

Keeping these things in mind, some of your choices may be easy.  I’ve always felt it was more important to read a story to a child or grandchild than scrub the floors (which is why I’ve always had a rather messy house).  But the child is going to benefit a lot more from those quiet times together than a spotless house.  Other choices are more difficult, like when you have to work outside the home to provide a home and food for a child, and you can’t be there as much as you would like.  Cheer up — studies suggest that it’s the quality of the time you spend with your child that counts, not necessarily the quantity. 

The point is, only YOU can decide what is most important to focus on in your life.  The key is to make a conscious decision (hence, those lists), and then stop beating yourself up over your choices.  And the choice you make today may be changed if you realize it isn’t what you really want.

Or perhaps you are in the midst of a balancing act, and it is working for you.  Bravo!  Some people thrive on such a stimulating environment.  One tiny suggestion: Be very aware of stress management.  Pay attention to the signals your body is sending, and be ready to schedule a little down-time as needed. 

Make conscious choices, and be open to change.  Good luck with whatever you are balancing, and I wish you time to live the way you want to live!

My favorite restaurant in Eureka, CA, is …

November 21, 2007

facade.jpg   …Bless My Soul Cafe, owned and operated by Sweet Mama Janisse.  She serves creole, cajun, and Texas barbeque, and everything she serves has a touch of Louisiana down-home flavor.  You can get vegetarian; my favorite is the Veggie Plate, which comes with red beans and rice (I always ask them to substitute blackeyed peas, and they do), and two of her veggie sides (which include collard greens, vanilla carrots, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes with gravy, creole corn, sauteed cabbage, red beans, blackeyed peas, and creole herb rice).  All her dinners come with a choice of soup or salad (real greens, none of that iceberg stuff) and corn muffins.  There is a wide variety of non-vegetarian entrees (also with a choice of two veggie sides), which feature chicken, catfish, pork, beef, lamb, pastas, shrimp, and oysters.  And we are talking healthy food here — not a lot of fat on any of it.  Even the boneless fried chicken has had the skin removed.  Dinners run from $12.95 to $18.95.  There is also a variety of appetizers (fried okra, hush puppies, etc.) and ala carte items, so you can put together your own menu if you want.  (For those who eat meat, I highly recommend the Dirty Rice — filling but easy on the wallet.)  You can see her menus (and more photos and drawings of her place) by going to www.blessmysoulcafe.com .  You won’t find her desserts listed there, but the two I see on her menu board most often are sweet potato pie and voodoo pudding (like a mix between dark chocolate pudding and dark chocolate cake — yum!).

Sweet Mama Janisse grew up in Louisiana, and somehow wound up in Southern California, where she spent 17 years catering to movies.  A few years ago she came up to Eureka and opened Bless My Soul Cafe.  She is at the cafe most nights, and often comes out from the kitchen to circulate through the cafe, talking with people.  She loves to talk, and listen to your stories as well as tell her own.  She has the most wonderful laugh!

restaurant01sm.jpgShe also sells a line of sauces (you can buy them at the cafe or online), and they show up in the meals she offers at the cafe.  The Bless My Soul Cafe is open Monday thru Saturday at 5 pm, until 9 pm on Monday thru Thursday, and until 10 pm on Friday and Saturday.  We were in there on Tuesday this week at about 6:30, and the place was full, so if you are planning on being there on a Friday or Saturday you might want to call for reservations [(707) 443-1090].  The cafe is on 101 North going through Eureka, at the south end of where Hwy 101 splits into different streets for north and south (29 Fifth Street).  There is a map and directions at their site ( www.blessmysoulcafe.com ). 

When we were there this week, another couple came in just behind us, and as we waited a couple minutes for a table, they asked what was good.  “Everything!”  With their relaxed and happy atmosphere, and delicious, healthy food, it is a joy to eat at Bless My Soul Cafe.   :-)

What planet do these bridge organizations live on?

November 17, 2007

Last month at the world bridge championships in Shanghai, a team of U.S. players reflected the mood of over 70% of U.S. citizens, and now they may have their livelihood taken away from them because of it.  And what horrible crime did they commit?  They held up a small, hand-lettered sign that said “We did not vote for Bush,” while some of them sang the U.S. national anthem and waved U.S. flags. 

For this simple act, which some are calling “treason” and “sedition,” the American Contract Bridge League is threatening to withdraw funding unless the United States Bridge Federation punishes them.  The article (from the New York Times) is below, with all the details — I encourage you to read it. 

I applaud what these women did.  Anyone who has had contact with people from other nations realizes how badly the Bush administration has embarassed the United States.  Five minutes into a conversation, and there are the questions about lack of concern for the environment, torture, telling other countries how to deal with domestic issues, and so forth.  I have also responded with the disclaimer that I didn’t vote for Bush. 

Of course, I understand why the bridge organizations are upset — they may lose corporate funding.  Big Business is the ONLY segment of the U.S. that has benefited from George W. Bush’s administration.  And most of them care very little about truth.

(With thanks to Arielle.)

***********************

Published on Wednesday, November 14, 2007 by The New York Times
Anti-Bush Sign Has Bridge World in an Uproar

by Stephanie Strom

In the genteel world of bridge, disputes are usually handled quietly and rarely involve issues of national policy. But in a fight reminiscent of the brouhaha over an anti-Bush statement by Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks in 2003, a team of women who represented the United States at the world bridge championships in Shanghai last month is facing sanctions, including a yearlong ban from competition, for a spur-of-the-moment protest.

At issue is a crudely lettered sign, scribbled on the back of a menu, that was held up at an awards dinner and read, “We did not vote for Bush.”

By e-mail, angry bridge players have accused the women of “treason” and “sedition.”

“This isn’t a free-speech issue,” said Jan Martel, president of the United States Bridge Federation, the nonprofit group that selects teams for international tournaments. “There isn’t any question that private organizations can control the speech of people who represent them.”

Not so, said Danny Kleinman, a professional bridge player, teacher and columnist. “If the U.S.B.F. wants to impose conditions of membership that involve curtailment of free speech, then it cannot claim to represent our country in international competition,” he said by e-mail.

Ms. Martel said the action by the team, which had won the Venice Cup, the women’s title, at the Shanghai event, could cost the federation corporate sponsors.

The players have been stunned by the reaction to what they saw as a spontaneous gesture, “a moment of levity,” said Gail Greenberg, the team’s nonplaying captain and winner of 11 world championships.

“What we were trying to say, not to Americans but to our friends from other countries, was that we understand that they are questioning and critical of what our country is doing these days, and we want you to know that we, too, are critical,” Ms. Greenberg said, stressing that she was speaking for herself and not her six teammates.

The controversy has gone global, with the French team offering support for its American counterparts.

“By trying to address these issues in a nonviolent, nonthreatening and lighthearted manner,” the French team wrote in by e-mail to the federation’s board and others, “you were doing only what women of the world have always tried to do when opposing the folly of men who have lost their perspective of reality.”

The proposed sanctions would hurt the team’s playing members financially. “I earn my living from bridge, and a substantial part of that from being hired to compete in high-level competitions,” Debbie Rosenberg, a team member, said. “So being barred would directly affect much of my ability to earn a living.”

A hearing is scheduled this month in San Francisco, where thousands of players will be gathered for the Fall North American Bridge Championships. It will determine whether displaying the sign constitutes conduct unbecoming a federation member.

Three players- Hansa Narasimhan, JoAnna Stansby and Jill Meyers - have expressed regret that the action offended some people. The federation has proposed a settlement to Ms. Greenberg and the three other players,
 
Jill Levin, Irina Levitina and Ms. Rosenberg, who have not made any mollifying statements.

It calls for a one-year suspension from federation events, including the World Bridge Olympiad next year in Beijing; a one-year probation after that suspension; 200 hours of community service “that furthers the interests of organized bridge”; and an apology drafted by the federation’s lawyer.

It would also require them to write a statement telling “who broached the idea of displaying the sign, when the idea was adopted, etc.”

Alan Falk, a lawyer for the federation, wrote the four team members on Nov. 6, “I am instructed to press for greater sanction against anyone who rejects this compromise offer.”

Ms. Greenberg said she decided to put up the sign in response to questions from players from other countries about American interrogation techniques, the war in Iraq and other foreign policy issues.

“There was a lot of anti-Bush feeling, questioning of our Iraq policy and about torture,” Ms. Greenberg said. “I can’t tell you it was an overwhelming amount, but there were several specific comments, and there wasn’t the same warmth you usually feel at these events.”

Ms. Rosenberg said the team members intended the sign as a personal statement that demonstrated American values and noted that it was held up at the same time some team members were singing along to “The Star-Spangled Banner” and waving small American flags.

“Freedom to express dissent against our leaders has traditionally been a core American value,” she wrote by e-mail. “Unfortunately, the Bush brand of patriotism, where criticizing Bush means you are a traitor, seems to have penetrated a significant minority of U.S. bridge players.”

Through a spokesman, the other team members declined to discuss the matter. Ms. Narasimhan, Ms. Stansby and Ms. Meyers have been offered a different settlement agreement, but Ms. Martel declined to discuss it in detail.

Many of those offended by the sign do not consider the expressions of regret sufficient. “I think an apology is kind of specious,” said Jim Kirkham, who has played in several bridge championships. “It’s not that I don’t forgive them, but I still think they should be punished.”

Mr. Kirkham sits on the board of the American Contract Bridge League, which accounts for a substantial portion of the federation’s financing, Ms. Martel said, and has submitted a proposal that would cut the league’s support for the federation, one of two such proposals pending.

Robert S. Wolff, one of the country’s pre-eminent bridge players, who has served as an executive and board member of several bridge organizations, said that he understood that the women might have had a legal right to do what they did but that they had offended many people.

“While I believe in the right to free speech, to me that doesn’t give anyone the right to criticize one’s leader at a foreign venue in a totally nonpolitical event,” he wrote by e-mail.

David L. Anderson, a bridge player who supports the team, said it was common to see players at international tournaments sporting buttons bearing the date “1-20-09,” when George W. Bush will hand off to a new president, as well as buttons reading “Support Our Troops.”

“They don’t go after those people,” Mr. Anderson said.

© 2007 The New York Times

Life between lives

November 3, 2007

journey-of-souls.jpg   About six years ago I was wandering through a book store and discovered the book, Journey of Souls: Case Studies of Life Between Lives, by Michael Newton, Ph.D. (Llewellyn Publications, 1996).  What fascinated me is that Dr. Newton is a psychologist who originally did not believe in the idea of past lives.  He was using hypnosis to help people with psychological blocks, and a client came up with something from a past life while under hypnosis.  Working with the event produced relief for the client, so Newton became more open to the concept and gradually used it more often.  At a later point, while working with a client and following the events of a past life, the client (under hypnosis) talked about events that were happening after death, in what Newton eventually called life between lives.  He found that working with clients in this life between lives (or LBL) in many cases provided more relief and more profound insights than working with past lives.  Journey of Souls is his first book about his discoveries, and a few years later he wrote destiny-of-souls.jpgDestiny of Souls: New Case Studies of Life Between Lives (Llewellyn Publications, 2000).  He has since written Life Between Lives: Hypnotherapy for Spiritual Regression (Llewellyn Publications, 2004), which is more of a manual for hypnosis professionals (and the public) on how the process works in therapy. 

What I found intriguing at the time I discovered the first book, is that the ideas presented about the LBL dovetailed with what I had been reading and hearing elsewhere about reincarnation and the development of the soul.  It was as if someone had taken my vague, unformed thoughts in this area and put them on paper in logical order.  I was excited about it, and went online to find a therapist in my area who might be using Newton’s process — alas, they were all hundreds of miles away.  However, I learned that Linda Backman, who runs the Ravenheart Center in Colorado, and works directly with Newton, was going to be in Sacramento at about the same time I would be there for other business.  I booked a session with her, and spent almost five hours in hypnosis, exploring two other lives and spending some time in the LBL.  It was interesting, and very helpful, giving me insights into issues I was dealing with at the time, including what career path I should follow.  Since then Backman has given a seminar and done some work in Eureka (CA), and I have driven down one more time to have a session with her in the Sierras (CA).  Each time I gained insights that helped me lay some issues to rest, and to get a glimpse of the next steps in my path. 

Recently a very good friend in Arcata (CA) has begun the training to do LBL sessions and use hypnosis in more general theraputic ways.  (She is an MFT.)  As part of her training she has to do practice sessions, and I was fortunate to have one with her last Wednesday (Samhain).  [BTW, she did a VERY good job!]  I wanted to focus on a particular issue that has been plaguing me in the past few weeks: anger.  In my session with her, I was able to determine the root of my anger (a government that no longer listens to its people, and refuses to pay attention to ecological concerns that affect the world), and to explore another life where I dealt with this same issue (where it resulted in my death and the death of my family).  No wonder it is such a sore point for me!  Though most of the session focused on the other life rather than the LBL, I did gain a few spiritual insights that mean a lot to me.  I wondered why the current administration is so blind to the great harm they are doing to the world, and learned it has something to do with a radical change that is going to occur (probably within the next 20-30 years, possibly on the sooner end of that range).  Then they told me about how each of us  who DO care about the ecology of the world are needed to help tip the balance in favor of healing — just our being here will make a difference.  Each of us is as a grain of sand (and here I pictured motes of light), but all of us together will tip the balance.  When I told them I was a bit afraid of this radical change, I was flooded with a warm and wonderful reassurance that they would be there with me — I would not be overwhelmed. 

I’ve since thought about that session, and am well aware they did not promise I would survive the radical change — but that they would be there with me all the way.  I’m okay with that.  Am especially grateful for the mental picture they gave me of the motes of light, creating a mountain of light that tips the balance.  I will still get angry with this administration, but now it is with awareness that things will change. 

Namaste (the Deity in me salutes the Deity in you).